Squeaker V.1

Feeling a little... inactive? If so, it's time to hit the slopes, and HJE can help get you there. Our trains are equipped with facilities so that you can store your skis or board with with the confidence of knowing they will be ready for you to tackle the next mountain peak, whether it be in the Kappaskjuls or Kemitee Mountains. Head on over to ᚮᚠᚢᚱ.ᚼᚤᛂ.ᚴᚤᛆ (WWW.HJE.KJA) for exclusive deals on ticketing and hotel packages.

In celebration of Family Festival, we will be detailing a day dedicated to honouring each province of the Empire, to further connect our people with their heritage, and foreigners with our unique cultural tastes. First, Shaotai. The capital province of Michu, and where our grand story is centered. Every street is the tapestry, depicting the history of thousands of years, delicately crafted by our ancestors. And now, the tapestry falls to us. Make a difference today.  

Also, @Kảlị_Leụ̄xk_doy_phracêā just hit me! Very rude.  

So uh, I got banned from another paintball arena again. Okay, it wasn't even a legal match because I already got banned from it officially (and was fined). Needless to say I got my paintball gear confiscated for the next week. ;-; Guess it's to the range for now. Too bad it's not as exciting, but oh well.

@Lorenzo_Quispe

I shot my sister in the face with a paintball gun before. She said she was gonna punt me to the moon        

Looks like Terschelling‘s Republican Diet just agreed to a domestic referendum to enter a state of Union with Keaa by April 7th. . . This is gonna knock ten more years off my life.

@Freyja Kristjánsdóttir
Ooh, you really shouldn't have done that haha. It's usually never a good sign if/when non-combatants are forced into war. 

I hate to get political on Squeaker, but recent events have really disturbed me. The leaders of Etharia seem to be alienated from the effects their policies have on the world. Even the Republican government of Aryavarta would commit unspeakable evils if it wasn't cowering in fear of Kanadorikan or the Celestial Throne in Shaotai! It's a real disgrace. I'll go back to regular posting later

I swear to God, working with Strasser is so difficult. One of these days that mouth of her is gonna get herself shot.

@Lorenzo_Quispe

It was a preemptive strike! If I didn't shoot her uh she was gonna commit warcrimes.  

@Freyja Kristjánsdóttir
If that's your concern, you should expand your intel networks then. It's good and all to get a preemptive strike in, but you need to make sure it's almost certain and that you can get other people's support even before that. It's no good to fight when everyone's angry at you, though having your opponent unable to control their emotions, that can at least be a pretty great aid.     

l just found a old picture of @Kảlị_Leụ̄xk_doy_phracêā and her brother, God, I can’t even remember how old she was when this was taken.

Uncle?!?! How did you even get that????? Take it down! >~<

Hey @Kảlị_Leụ̄xk_doy_phracêā what do your feet taste like?

@Weiheigui, You should remain silent, if you do not, I wish you Prosperity. May it find you swiftly.

DUE TO AN IMPENDING VOLCANIC ERUPTION THE HIGH MINISTRY OF INTERNAL MANAGEMENT HAS ISSUED A MANDATORY EVACUATION FOR ALL REGIONS WITHIN A 6O MILE PROXIMITY OF MT. KALLIOINEN

THE TOWN OF TAAHOLM IS WITHIN THE AFFECTED ZONE. ALL RESIDENTS MUST EVACUATE WITHIN 24 HOURS. THE CITIES OF NUSHAN AND ÖRISAMÄKI WILL PROVIDE REFUGE FOR DISPLACED RESIDENTS

FAILURE TO COMPLY WITH THE EVACUATION IS A CRIME! DO NOT ENDANGER EMERGENCY RESPONDERS BY STAYING IN THE AFFECTED ZONE!

STAY SAFE! STAY CALM! STAY INFORMED!

Sooooo.... This tsunami that's coming... who's down to surf it?

@ Putyuk Aqakuktuq ᐳᑐᒃ ᐊᖃᑯᔾᑐᖅ | Man I'd love to do that but I can't surf at all haha

Awfy bad things happening up in Kanadorika. I'll be making some pieces to help support, though — gotta do good for other folks, you know? Ezhara's not silly enough to just sit around while everyone else is sick and all. Be on the lookout for new works from me!

We know everyone is hurting in Aztlán right now. That's why we'll be holding an upcoming Concert within the Foro Sol & Palacio de los Deportes. Attendance will be free. We hope to uplift the people of Aztlán in these dark times! We'll be playing hits like Reptilia, Juicebox, Vision of Division, & more!

Imagine being a cringe guthic gorilla. The CHAD Natives will absolute fortnite dance on the Guthic barbarians who can't read properly yo! If any Guthics got a problem with what i'm sayin then they can come at me foo! I can take any of your gorilla monkeys any time of the day. Hell, bring in your Estlandic Afrikans bro! It don't matter you damn cringe chimpanzees!

When one reads the Kanadorikan racial theories of the Zaoming Era, they will surely notice a grave error. The backwards, foolish Kanadorikan scientists, placed far too much value and merit in the Guthic Peoples. Time and time again, we see the Guthic attempt to spread his influence and power, in Qinggang, in 'Morong', and in Aztlan. The Guthic is violent by nature, biology, and culture. In recognising this, I have submitted a memorandum to my dearest sister that we should recognise the Guthics as the filth that they so obviously are.

@Seventh Princess | They suck at paintball too. Funny how they think that they can conquer a couple tribes, but their team can barely get anywhere in Cholätipaqmi's tournaments haha.

@Seventh Princess This is exactly what i'm talkin bout sista! Representin! Screw da Guthics! We must recognize the filthy, disgusting, repugnant, dog-like, & simply utter trash that is the nature of the Guth- no the rabid animal. I wish for Aztlán to recognize the Rabid Animal (((Guthics))) as exactly what they are. Dangerous leeches to society that disguise themselves as people

@AlbertoTBarbossa How dare you even speak to the Seventh Princess, she is a Goddess compared to your filthy monkey people! Your informality represents your people well, I hope your nation starves endlessly before you can beg for Her Highness' forgiveness on your knees!

"The annuls of global history has made one thing quite clear in regards to the Guthic race: a total lack of self restraint which has cost the Guthic many of their own lives. When simply diplomacy would do, the Guthic instead  prefers to reach for his sword and proceeds to impale himself in the stomach than to partake in civilized discourse with the other peoples of the world. It is thus that the greatest enemy of the Guthic is his own aggression and senseless self destruction. From importing negroes into his colonies to engaging in the decline of the Christian religion, the Guthic is merely the Eporanian equivalent to the Jew." - The Genesis of the Eyjanic Race, page 63 (published 1866)